Friday, March 18, 2016

Woman Soul Part 2

VIII Courage
Higher Mysteries of Mary Tarot Deck

And then I truly entered the Underworld. This was not my intent. My intent was to take a sabbatical, spend my days exploring journalling and some other crafts that I played with and to meditate often and work in my garden. But that was not part of Her plan for me.

My journey down the rabbit hole led me to a guru in the Siddha lineage.  It was a mutual
recognition at first sight.  After this crucial meeting and experience that lasted only three years 
I understood the question :  did I look for the Divine or did the Divine come looking for me?

Through periodic visits back and forth and through online training, I discovered that
the incredible force within myself, the wild woman and the compassionate inner mother,
is Kundalini Ma, the serpent like Light energy which is the Triple Goddess, the creator,
the nurturer and the destroyer.  I immersed myself into Bhakty yoga and entered the Light.
I was turned inside out;  dealth with increasingly powerful visions and prophetic dreams
and truly came to understand and know myself and witnessed my personal self melting like
butter in the sun. I became a master of shaktypat, my healing abilities
and other esp opened up even more and I started training women to uncover the
fiery mother and to allow her to bring great healing through the white and right hand path of Tantra.

However, betrayal struck when I discovered that my beloved guru's feet of clay
consisted of greed for power, sex and money and my true initiation started after this realisation.
A difficult path of untying and rescuing myself on many levels from him and his organisation
started whilst at the same time having to be impervious to him spreading rumours about
my character -  the usual pattern experienced by many on similar paths.

As I was catapulted out into the dark world of no longer having any valid belief system,
I finally surrendered completely to the Great Mystery, to the psychic and emotional
pain and to the mind's torture of not having any answers and no structures to hold only.
And this was my saving grace!

Slowly through the dark weeks and months from when I realised that I have all my life
been devoted to false idols and to the tremendous realisation 
that I finally had given my soul away to one who calls himself guru, 
could the last vestiges of my already cracked personality
shatter into nothingness.

And the world stopped.

And I was born.

IX The Lady with the Lamp
Higher Mysteries of Mary Tarot Deck

Be  Blessed

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