Wednesday, December 14, 2011

On Sharings of the Heart

From 1 to 12 December I journeyed A Virgin a Day with Rebecca of Recuerda mi Corazon and many others in her circle.

What a joy, grace and blessing this was.  Each day I sensed a deeper sense of joy and gratitude bubbling within.

I visited incredible websites, learnt many new things, made wonderful new friends and never did I use the word 'beautiful' so often.  As Lisa of PritiLisa said, it called for a Thesaurus to find some more ways of expressing our wonder and joy.

The power of sharing our deepest held feelings, values, traditions and truths.  The depth of devotion, to the Divine, each in our own particular and personal way, shared in a space of respect and honour and witnessing. For twelve days a circle of Light was held and the talking stick shared equally.

I am still making my rounds to each and every participant in a good bye, till next time our paths meet.

And such good news, it does not have to end!  Rebecca has extended an invitation to participate in Postcards from Paradise.  Please visit her at on a Sunday and you will find myself and many others there.

Dont hide your heart but reveal it
so that mine might be revealed,
and I might accept what I am capable of


Friday, December 2, 2011

a virgin a day, haiku my heart

It is day two of 'A virgin a day' and on 
Fridays Rebecca hosts 'Haiku my Heart'.  
What a wonderful offering.  
Today is my first time in participating in Haiku my Heart. 
 A Haiku is a Japanese form of poetry reminiscent of a Zen Koan. 
 In Japanese it has rather strict requirements
 for lines and syllables and juxtaposition.

Star of Love born
Returning beauty to my eyes
A miracle I behold

An assemblage created by myself : Hands of Compassion

To read some very proficient Haiku poets make your way to


Thursday, December 1, 2011

A Virgin a Day

From today, the first of December till Mary's Holy Day, the twelfth, I will be sharing Her with you as part of Rebecca's A Virgin a Day at Recuerda Mi Corazon. If you want to join in, the link is here on my blog and her invitation is below.

Ave Maria
Mary, Maryam, Maria, Mares
Holy Woman

So much more
Than a head bowed down
Arrow fierce and fast

Directed at the heart
No sin of error here
Cloak of power
All-embracingly blue
Heart on fire
Flowing from the sacred well
Eternally walking on the bed of coals
You seduce me into dancing in the flames

Eyes blinded
Only the heart sees
And hears
The howling winds of compassion

Screaming through my ribcage
Cracked open
Finger by finger
Pomegranate juice flowing in my veins

Persephone’s ashes
Caked with the tears of Demeter
Entangled in the hair of Medusa
I follow where you lead

The perfume of your feet
The guiding light my holy woman

Sacred Am I
Ave Maria

You can find Recuerda Mi Corazon here and here is Rebecca's beautiful invitation :

each year beginning december 1, 
i post "a virgin a day" every day until december 12,
mary's feast day.

today i am 
calling all virgins...
enchanting, traditional, contemporary, 
exotic, edgy, campy, irreverent, irresistible,
unusual, joyful, rapturous, lovely,
glorious, ordinary, astounding,
bring her on!
i hope you will join me in a pilgrimage of marys.
feel free to re-post this invitation on your blog,

and link back to
recuerda mi corazon.
as december grows busier we will
quietly greet the new day one mary at a time.
mr. linky will be here to gather all the virgin sightings.

just add your name and direct link back to your virgin 
so we can effortlessly share the divine. 


(here's the virgin a day participation button linked to this post)

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Mary's Blessing Seeds

Our spiritual Mother, Mary, asks all of us to pray to Her regardless of our religion or culture.  She has said to many visionaries that all people are her children – her spiritual children.  Our bodies are temporary, but our spirits live forever, that is why Mother Mary is our true Divine Mother, the Mother of our Souls.  Her love for all of us is truly that of a mother who would want nothing more than to help her children.

I created these blessing seeds from ceramic clay that will deteriorate and dissolve back into Mother Earth when buried.   Each of these seeds are imprinted with the divine image of Divine Mary and thus contains Her sacred energy.

You can say a prayer whilst holding the seed in your hand, and then make a hole in the ground with your finger and plant these seeds wherever you want healing to take place.  This way you can call on Mother Mary as you walk on her earth;  you can place these at sacred places;  in your garden or at places of sadness and trauma.

Mary's Blessings Seeds are packaged with dried lavender seeds brought back from Lourdes in France, in a small voile pouch.  

Mary's Blessing Seeds are available to purchase on http://

Friday, October 21, 2011

The Star

Over at my other blog HER GRACE by DEVATA and at Inspiration Avenue we are running our fabulous 500 followers blogparty.  The theme of the party is On the Wings of Inspiration and the question is 'what inspires you?'.

And my answer is the symbology and metaphysical meaning of The Star ( as seen in the Tarot).

And this is She :

She is inspiration, hope, belief, trust and faith in all things amazing and beautiful. She is acceptance, integration and embodiment (as opposed to transcendence).

She is the radiant light against the dark night sky.  She is the clarity amidst the chaos of life.

We struggle with the concepts of good and bad, dark and light.  As humans, through these struggles, we each choose a corner of belief and the way that we see the world, and eventually, through our closed mindedness, which we believe strengthens us in our quest to truth, clarity and happiness, we close our hearts down.

In the Western world we have been taught that we should overcome our weaknesses;  we should strive to get to the top of the pile and do what it takes to conquer and to become victorious in whatever we endeavour.

We live in the 'father's house' of masculinity of right action, righteousness and rightmindedness.  And thus, the beauty of the chaos, the beauty of the creative path, goes unnoticed and unvalued.  This value system drags in its wake the innocent, the weak, the eccentric and the feminine.  The values of nurturing and support, caring and simple things like housekeeping, gardening, sewing and crafting, loses its importance in the face of all that glitters.

And the one that suffers the most, is the Soul.  In this lopsided imbalanced value system, one applies those harsh judgemental laws to yourself and the Soul, the lover of freedom, innocence, compassion and beauty, suffers deeply.  Some call it the Inner Child or the Golden Child.  And She is The Star.

The Star holds the message that beyond the duality of striving and non-striving;  beyond the duality of masculine and feminine principles;  beyond the separation of different faiths and belief systems, there exists one reality of Love.  Some call that reality God or other Holy Names.  And everything flows from that True Love, abundantly without judgement, without regard, no conditions demanded.  And in Love duality does not exist and there is no separation.

And in this world of form, Love exists beyond form and in form and when we can see the Love in form regardless of its appearance, then we have become The Star.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Spring in my Garden

Spring has arrived and her beauty is intoxicating and breathtaking.  

Spring makes its own statement, so loud and clear that the gardener seems to be only one of the instruments, not the composer. ~Geoffrey B. Charlesworth

Everything is blooming most recklessly; if it were voices instead of colors, there would be an unbelievable shrieking into the heart of the night. ~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters of Rainer Maria Rilke

Spring has returned. The Earth is like a child that knows poems. ~Rainer Maria Rilke

The world is very old, but every spring she becomes young again, and fairies sing - Mary Cecily Baker

And I could not resist and carried my easel out, painting in the heady scent of the jasmine!

May this beauty fill your eyes and your heart with joy!!

Ciao Bella,


Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Book of Mary

If you want to stay in touch and up to date with communication from Divine Mary, Dikshas and meditations received from Her, please follow at

Blessings from Her to You


Have you heard of the Hawaian Ho'oponopono process? A friend of mine told me about it recently and I have since then shared this with others. There is also a link to one of the websites on this blog. All those who have applied it, has reported wonderful results.
Allow your inner guidance to show you the best way to use it. At times, probably most often, you will find that you feel the need to say these words to your own inner child and sensitive self.

I have taken the pieces below from the many websites on this ancient method.

Ho’oponopono is a little known but extremely powerful self-transformation technique.

Ho’oponopono originated from Hawaii and was originally taught by Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona. Morrnah was a healer and in 1983 she received a great honor by being designated as a living treasure of Hawaii. She was teaching Ho’oponopono to small and large groups of people as well as to hospitals, colleges and even to United Nations personnel. She also founded “The Foundation of I” to promote principles of Ho’oponopono around the world.
Historically Ho’oponopono healing system required the presence of mediator – senior qualified practitioner who would guide a healing process for practitioner. It is often that the group of people need be to interacting with each other in a certain way for the process to take place.
Morrnah updated Ho’oponopono in a way that healing and transformation process no longer required presence of any other person but the practitioner himself. Neither any specific interaction is required between practitioner and other people.

The miracle powers of Ho’oponopono self-healing and self-improvement practice would still be unknown to the world at large if not for the works of Joe Vitale, published as “The Attractor Factor” and especially his exceptional quality “Zero Limits” book.
Joe Vitale is best known as internet marketer, writer and speaker on the subject of self improvement. While internet marketing is something that perceived by many (including myself) with a great degree of skepticism – Joe Vitale’s experience on the subject of self improvement as well as his in-depth research about Ho’oponopono deserves the highest marks. It’s from Joe Vitale’s “Zero Limits” book that the world found out about true miracles and powers of Ho’oponopono as well as about Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len.

Ho'oponopono means to make right. Essentially, it means to make it right with the ancestors, or to make right with the people with whom you have relationships. We believe that the original purpose of Ho'oponopono was to correct the wrongs that had occurred in someone's life including Hala (to miss the thing aimed for, or to err, to disobey) and Hewa (to go overboard or to do something to excess) which were illusions, and even 'Ino (to do harm, implying to do harm to someone with hate in mind), even if accidental.

We call this the Hawaiian Code of Forgiveness, and it's an important thought, because when we forgive others, who are we forgiving? Ourselves, of course.

If you are familiar with Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), there is a saying, "People are only doing the best they can with the resources they have available." If you've heard that before, it has to do with forgiveness. Think about it. As you do consider that you are included in "people."

In the Eastern traditions, too, there is a real tradition of being aligned with and cleaning up relations with the ancestors. In Japan, China, as well as the Hawaiian tradition, it is thought to be important to align and clean up any past problems that you've had in relationships, especially with relatives.

At the same time, perhaps there are family patterns you do not want. Certainly you have heard the saying, "We just don't do that in our family," or "That's the way it is in our family." What happens then, is that certain generational themes get passed along in families, like sadness or any number of different traits. Ho'oponopono will allow you to clean this up.

THEORY: We carry inside us as parts of the Unconscious Mind, all the significant people in our lives. (These parts of us often look very much like Carl Jung's archetypes.) Ho'oponopono makes it "all right" with them. The process of Ho'oponopono is to align with and clean up our genealogy as well as to clean up our relationships with other people in our lives.

The Process of Ho'oponopono:
Bring to mind anyone with whom you do not feel total alignment or support, etc.
In your mind's eye, construct a small stage below you
Imagine an infinite source of love and healing flowing from a source above the top of your head (from your Higher Self), and open up the top of your head, and let the source of love and healing flow down inside your body, fill up the body, and overflow out your heart to heal up the person on the stage. Be sure it is all right for you to heal the person and that they accept the healing.
When the healing is complete, have a discussion with the person and forgive them, and have them forgive you.
Next, let go of the person, and see them floating away. As they do, cut the aka cord that connects the two of you (if appropriate). If you are healing in a current primary relationship, then assimilate the person inside you.
Do this with every person in your life with whom you are incomplete, or not aligned.
The final test is, can you see the person or think of them without feeling any negative emotions. If you do feel negative emotions when you do, then do the process again.

Dr. Hew Len was the most avid student of Morrnah Simeona and practitioner of updated Ho’oponopono technique. He was the first person who got documented and confirmed proof of the healing miracles initiated by the Ho’oponopono process. Dr. Hew Len observed Hooponopono healing powers himself when Morrnah Simeona healed his daughter from painful bleeding shingles (skin disease) that she suffered from for more than a decade without anyone or anything helping.

Being traditionally educated university-trained physician he decided to look deeper into the process that Morrnah Simeona was using. He signed into her seminar in 1982 and not without certain degree of struggle (“…she was talking to spirits and sounding nuts!…” – ‘Zero Limits’, page 42) managed to complete the training. She was staying and learning from Morrnah all the way till 1992 when she passed away. Paying utmost attention to her teaching and practices Dr Hew Len managed to simplify and improve Ho’oponopono process even more and with amazing results.
From 1984 till 1987 he worked as a staff psychologist for Hawaii State Hospital overseeing high security unit housing male criminally insane patients. Now, to make things clear – these are the type of guys you don’t want to turn your back on. These guys committed murders, rapes, assaults and due to their degree of “insanity” were locked into psychiatric high security facility. Violence against each other and staff members were common.

Fast forward to 1987 (3 years later) wrist and ankle restraints were no longer used in this facility. Violence almost ceased to exist, only involving mostly new patients. New off-site activities were introduced to former violent patients. The spirit and order in the unit was greatly improved and eventually the whole unit was closed because there was no need. People just got improved, healed and released or moved into other non-violent wards.
This all was documented, described my multiple witnesses and personnel.

How did such miraculous change took place in the hospital?
According to Dr. Hew Len:
He did not do any therapy or counseling with patients
He did not attend any staff conferences on patients
He practiced updated Ho’oponopono process on a daily basis that included accepting 100% of responsibility for everything being experienced by him.
(Zero Limits, page 142)

Dr. Hew Len improved and practiced updated Ho’oponopono process every day and this process caused the most miraculous transformation within the most challenging environment. Within 3 years

So what exactly is Ho’oponopono and how does it work?

When Joe Vitale met with Dr. Hew Len and asked him how exactly did he manage to heal these violent patients without actually seeing each of them in person, his answer was:
“I didn’t heal them. I healed part of myself that created them”. To me that was the most fundamental revelation to date. That phrase alone explains the most important presumption of Ho’oponopono:

You are 100% responsible for everything. Everything and everywhere! And it means not only your personal screwups and your personal successes. If means if someone somewhere did something and you became aware of that – you are 100% responsible for that.
Ho’oponopono is not your free ticket to guilt trip. Being 100% responsible is not the same as feeling infinitely guilty for miseries. It’s reminder of your creative powers and gentle welcome to return back to your inner nature. That is to Zero. Joe Vitale wrote a great book on the subject called Zero Limits. When you returning back to your most inner nature – to Zero – everything becomes available to you effortlessly and you are being driven by inspiration from Divinity, not by petty ego wants. Ho’oponopono’s Zero is the same thing that Eckhart Tolle names Unmanifested.
Back to practical reality – let assume that Zero is the next great thing after sliced bread. Or even before sliced bread. Whatever. How do we get to that “magical” state? What exactly needed to be done?

This is achieved by constant cleaning process. Cleaning is the actual Ho’oponopono practice. Cleaning what? You clean yourself from subconscious garbage – programs that run your life without your participation.

Apparently Ho’oponopono process is very simple. Actual Ho’oponopono cleaning process consists of repetitions of the following phrases:
I Love You
Please forgive me
I am sorry
Thank you

These phrases repeated will ignite the self transformation process for the practitioner. This is exactly what Dr. Hew Len did to invite divine transformation powers for his surrounding during his work at Hawaiian mental hospital.

The most powerful phrases here are: “I Love You” and “Thank You”. The powers of Love and Gratitude are unquestionable in every self-empowerment teaching, school or religion.

Who do you say these phrases? Essentially you just say them. No need to feel anything special, imagine anything, or otherwise to complicate this process. As Dr. Hew Len often says “just do it”. The process is as simple as breathing. When you breath in and breathe out – you clean your body from processed “polluted” air and enrich it with fresh, oxygen rich, good energy air. And all this happens without you mixing breathing process with any esoteric or complicated practices. It just happens and your body gets constant supply of oxygen.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Her Grace


Since I have come back from my stay at Lourdes, I have been working on a new series of Mary.  

The philosopher Thomas Moore, in his wonderful works on Soul, really defines it for me.  Everyone has a Soul and thus a religion of the Soul, and that may be found in the enchantment of everyday living, in art as a sacred undertaking, or it may be found in the practise and application of a holy book and its teachings.

I had no exposure to Divine Mary other than in the Christmas pageants at school, where she really played a rather minor role.  I grew up raised in a Calvinistic religion and culture - a very austere philosophy, as you may know.  But from a young age I had a tendency to withdraw into my own inner world, away from voices telling what to do and how to feel.

  And in my dreams a beautiful woman used to come to me - I called her 'Beauty".  She was usually dressed in blue and had a linen type headdress. She reminded me of a burning candle.  Difficult to describe, but it was as though she is in a shimmering radiant light that pulled me up.  I once described her to my best friend and she said, 'but that is Mother Mary!".

And then my life started to change drastically.  At first, I read as much as I could and studied various sources and books to learn about Mary.  

Then I went through a stage of throwing all that learning out.  I had realised that the books give the writer's interpretation and also, the living Mary, became buried under a heap of jargon and definitions.

I visited many sacred places (you can read more about these on my blog 

and eventually I ended at Lourdes.

What I experienced at Lourdes, words cannot capture.  She is the Rosary and the Prayers and the faith of those who believe, but, She is so much more.

She is not bound by dogma, not even faith.  She does not need you to pray to Her.  She is always with you.

She is the Love that is within us all.  She is the human capacity for kindness, caring and compassion.  She is the mirror reflecting the Light within each and every soul.  She is life itself.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Betrayal by a Guru

Words filled with wisdom and light by Dorothy on Kundalini Splendour

Monday, August 29, 2011


Of all life's challenges, betrayal is one of the most difficult to deal with. Whether it comes from lover, family, friends, teacher or guru, it leaves one with a sense of being bereft of something very valuable in one's life.

I think that when we offer trust, to whomever and to whatever degree, we then become vulnerable to possible betrayal. The lover may leave, the friend may become less than friendly for no apparent reason or may make a remark that wounds, the guru may turn out to have a very dark shadow.

Indeed, books have been written about the "corrupt gurus" (or shamans or "spiritual authorities") who misuse their powers to gain wealth or sexual favors. The problem is that the flawed guru (or lover or friend) is often extremely charismatic, perhaps bestowing great gifts such as constant bliss states or feelings of oneness with the divine, or, as with friends or lovers, a sense of total acceptance and love.

The guru as master is a prime example of the abuse of Kundalini power, for who does not love to receive shaktipat, or enter into states of unending bliss. Further, at such times, one often experiences periods of altered consciousness, in which judgment is impaired. When the rupture occurs, we feel as though part of our own identity has been ripped from us, and we are left to try to build a new life within and without. Sometimes physical illness may follow, as we try to console our "within" for the trauma it has suffered. It is as if we are "punishing" ourselves for what, at some level, is like a "self betrayal." Our pain is an expression of our grief.

These are indeed terrible life lessons. However, one good result may ensue. We may come to realize that we ourselves were likely to undergo this kind of experience at some point in our lives, for we were vulnerable as long as we were willing to give so much power to another. In fact, the inner guru is the more reliable guide. The inner guru (higher self, guiding spirit, intuition) will not betray, it will not wound, and it will listen whenever we pause to speak to it and tell it what we need. We will be healed when we realize our error and rebuild our inner spiritual voyager to avoid such excessive "surrender of the self" to others in future.

For this reason, I prefer teachers to (external) gurus. We attend, we listen, we gain whatever wisdom we can from the teacher, but we do not put our whole lives hostage to his/her dictates. Contrary to what many think, no external guru is needed to undergo spiritual transformation or to awaken and nourish Kundalini, once we are ready. Spontaneous awakenings are occurring at (what seems to me) an every increasing rate.

This path is difficult. It is indeed a lonely path, for we all yearn for the external authority or master to lead us ahead. We long for the community (the sangha) of like minded seekers. Yet the price of such connection is often severe disappointment at the end. Yes, teachers, especially those familiar with Kundalini and its processes, can be extremely valuable, but we must exercise caution in our selections.

And there will also be those near us who truly deserve our trust. It may be that "faithfulness" rather than "exciting charisma" will be their earmarks. We should treasure these for who they are, dear friends who offer some stability in a world of chaos.

I think we must all be teachers and students of one another. We must pool our collective wisdom to progress, for we live in the heart of mystery.

Buddha said "Be a light unto yourself." We should listen to what he said.

Monday, June 27, 2011


Six weeks ago I undertook a pilgrimage to France.  My main focus was the festival of Sante Sara, the gypsy saint and the annual gathering of the gypsies in Les Saintes Maries de la Mer and from there to Lourdes.  I am  a pilgrim whom does not belong to a religion, one who follows the religion of the soul (in the words of Thomas Moore) and my pilgrimages have taken me across the globe.  Each stay has always further dissolved my sense of a separate self and has taken me deeper into Unity Consciousness.  I am always happy to see that hidden pockets of the separate self is revealed and that the transcendent and radiant Presence in these sacred places, replaces all discordant notes within.  A pilgrimage has a wonderful way of revealing the Love Within.  Ultimately, it seems to me that our biggest obstacle as human beings are that of Trust!  Trusting ourselves, trusting our feelings and our vulnerabilities with others, trusting the goodness of Life, trusting that everything that is happening to us is meant to be and ultimately trusting God.  This is not a 'bad' thing - most probably a very effective protective device - and merely part of our journey as human beings back to Unity Consciousness - the complete Knowledge that we are not separate from Divine Will.

I was blessed with many wonderful and powerful visions along the way (some which I will share with you in this blog and others to follow) and messages repeated reinforcing the understanding that Forgiveness is the salve that makes us (w)holy.  Forgiveness in the largest sense of the word.  And as we forgive ourselves, we realise that we have to forgive God and that the God that man created, truly does not exist.  'God' is complete and total Forgiveness, or Prema (unconditional love) and therefore forgiveness is not necessary.  But it is a long journey to integrate these incredible paradoxes and to see that the marriage between spirit and body truly does exist and that that is our journey here - to make sacred the mundane self.

One of the beautiful visions that I had was how each human being is on the symbolic cross, suspended between heaven and earth and stretched across the heart.  On the one side is the seemingly 'positive' inner voice and on the other side is the seemingly 'negative' inner voice - both waging war on the person hanging from the cross.  This is true suffering which takes on many layers and dimensions.  And trying to judge positive from negative becomes a never-ending quagmire of psychology, biology, personality traits and so on. Salvation comes from the flowering of the heart, the sacred heart within, which radiates the light of the living Christ. 

These Divine archetypes seemingly transcend our human lives, but in the sacred marriage the soul meets Spirit and a new way of living and understanding is born - a deep peace within which surpasses all understanding - the inner voices are dissolved and Love is the world.

Our first stop was St Maximin la St Baume where we stayed in the old cloisters of the Basilica.  The adjacent Basilica houses the relics of Mary Magdalene.  As with all sacred places, saints, myths and legends, there is always controversy and dispute about the truth of the legends as well as the relics.  As we know, religion is a powerful political tool.  Personally, I choose to see the entire spectrum of religion, myth and legend as an archetypal journey.  We, ourselves, embody these archetypes and these inspirational lives and stories of these almost superhuman beings, is to me a cross road where the archetype and the physical meet and cross.  

One cannot ignore the power of the names given to these characters - the names in themselves are archetypal.  Also, if you pay attention to the ley lines where the sacred places are established and where the waters run from the sacred springs and well, you can see the presence of the Divine, marrying our world with the Spiritual world.

Staying in the old cloisters was a very humbling experience.  
This was the view from my room in the convent which has now been turned into a hotel.

Right next door, as part of the complex, stands the massive St Maximin Basilica of Mary Magdalene. 

We visited the Basilica more than once.  We also visited the chapel at the grotto where Mary Magdalene spend the last thirty three years of her life at La Sainte Baume.  I experienced the same divine Presence at both these sites. The Presence of the Divine Feminine known as Mary Magdelene. I can only describe it as a very very gentle, loving and forgiving energy. It felt as though the energy was vibrating in gentle, yet powerful waves of nurturing and embracing : an energy with a very specific vibration and colour which I will now recognize immediately again.  Each time we visited the Basilica and its many shrines, we were reluctant to leave Her absolute Beauty.

This is the statue of Mary Magdalene placed just outside the crypt where her relics are kept.

Here is picture taken during the Mary Magdalene feast day.  Her skull is behind this mask which is taken out for the procession.

The Basilica contained many statues and a shrine dedicated to Mother Mary, the Mary Magdelene crypt and more.  The most beautiful Mother Mary statue graced this church.  The picture does not really do justice to the presence that radiates from this beautiful image.

Here is a picture of the Lourdes shrine in the Basilica : a small taste of what was still to come.

From here we made some excursions into the countryside and stumbled across the most beautiful cathedrals and the Sacred Heart Shrine!!  More about this in my next blog.

blessings to you

Monday, May 16, 2011

Baptism in the Alchemical Journey

We cannot live in a world that is interpreted for us by others. An interpreted world is not a hope. Part of the terror is to take back our own listening. To use our own voice. To see our own light.
Hildegard Von Bingen

To move from the Blackness into the Whiteness (Albedo) of the Alchemical Journey, one has to pass through the Blueness.  

Here we start to move out of the depths of despair, the numbness, the feelings of no-feeling, the paralysis and heaviness and the confusion seems to start to lift.   

Soon, your tears will be baptising you into the Lapiz stage of your journey.

The Lapiz stage is recognised by its 'water', the release of tears.  Often, as one transforms, wonderful healing tears flow seemingly for no reason at all.  It is probably the deep release of the subconscious as it moves into the first glimmer of the light.

Now is not the time to rush in and throw all caution to the wind.  This is an important time for purification and cleaning out, re-visiting the intended goal and taking a deep breath, taking time to integrate the glimmer of hope.

Before the Albedo will enter you, you must be thoroughly prepared.  The Blue stage is a good time to follow a fast, spend more time in meditation or contemplation and to give up some luxuries.  This will help you to focus on what is really important and you will be able to hear your own powerful Voice Within.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Soul Story - Seeing in the Dark

"Salvation begins when you consider the possiblity that there might be another way." -- A Course in Miracles

When in the black, dark stage of the Alchemical Journey, you are called upon a new way of seeing.  The nigredo stage can last for many years.  Often, early in life, after a traumatic emotional event, such as the realisation of loss of innocence or unconditional love, one enters the dark cocoon of the cave.  The awakening only comes when you realise that you have chosen this and that, indeed, you are still choosing to remain in the safety of the cave.  

The dark state within and seemingly without, serves to make you aware of the incredible split in yourself.  Through closing off against pain you have created a strong and powerful separate self.  Embedded in this self is the first injunction :  thou shalt judge.  Secondly, thou shalt not feel pain ever again.  In order to keep loyal and true to these sacred orders of the false self, an entire life of habits, habitual thinking and patterning develops.  Depending on the environment and the consciuosness of those around you, and your own level of receptivity and sensitivity, these patterns will create a thick coat around the Self. 

One enters the cave with the understanding or the belief 'that I cannot do this any longer', thereby implying that you cannot deal with the way the world is.  What you do not realise is that the world is a projection of your own mind.  Your perception colours your world and interprets the actions of others and your own reactions.  

Whilst in the cave one makes decisions that promises to keep you safe and separate.  However, no-one is safeguarded against the pain of the heart.  You may make your mind feel safe through your choices and decisions, but at some point your heart will start to grieve for the loss of Soul.  And this is when you realise that you no longer want to be in the cave!

In the myth of Persephone, her mother, Demeter, Queen of the Earth, suffers deeply.  I extract the following :

Early one day, a tragic event occurred in the fields of Eleusis that disrupted the Mistress of Earth, Demeter.  Demeter is reliving that fateful day when her daughter, Persephone, was lost to her.  Demeter herself searches, laments, calls for help.  No one comes to her aid, her demands for help goes unanswered.  Then comes the horrendous revelation from Hecate, the Queen of Crossroads.  The contemptible Hades, Lord of hell, dragged Persephone down to the Underworld in his saturnian chariot driven by seven frothing, seething stallions.  He abducted her to coerce her into being his consort in the domain of the Underworld.  In her mother-fury and anguish, Demeter unleashes all her powers to pull back her daughter from the ghastly fate of living for eternity in the lifeless Underworld.  Then it comes to light that Zeus, the all-powerful Lord of All has permitted his brother Hades to commit this unspeakably evil act.

Demeter, Mother Goddess of the Sacred Earth, is paralyzed.  From her swollen eyes, she regards her listless and exhausted body.  She finds herself trapped and helpless in her fleshly garb, unable to move or navigate out of the icy debris surrounding her.  The fallen deity observes her feet stuck in frozen sludge, her leaden thighs are immobilized, and her slumped-down torso is unable to move her defenseless arms.

In this place that she inhabits, all is dark, void of life and sound - a deep darkness, not the darkness of the night where your eyes finally adjust enough to make out some semblance of form.  This is a place of formless matter, of thick and heavy obscurity where nothing moves.  She feels like she is buried alive in a bloodless tomb where shadows do not exist.

Demeter finds herself in this wasteland of immobility where her agony is so deep that emotion is dried up, her consciousness anesthetized, her will destroyed.  But wait, there is a dim realisation that she chooses to be in this state.  That it is necessary to be here, to engage in profound soulwork.  In fact, there is a knowingness that she must go even deeper to find her way out. 

As Demeter's soul dries up, so does the fecundity of the earth.  The vacuum of life-giving energy which she, the Great Mother, projects on to the world causes the landscape to become withered and frozen.  Soon Zeus, the Lord of all, notices the diminishing abundance of the earth and offers a compromise to Demeter - he will allow mother and daughter to reunite, but only for part of the year.  Persephone must return yearly back to the Underworld as queen and consort to Hades.  Demeter rises up out of the cold, dark place and embraces her daughter.  She glances back at her cocoon-like cave where she was stuck in devastation, all the while giving thanks for the gift of solitude and timelessness that helped her find her soul and a way out, back to her daughter.

In this myth, the nature of Persephone is two fold :  before she enters the underworld she is Kore, the maid and after her return, she is Persephone, Queen of the Underworld.  All the characters in the myth represents the various forms of consciousness that you know as yourself and your Divinity.  Zeus represents the 'sun-god', the higher authority or God in religious terms;  Persephone is your daughter, the life of your soul, your 'creature' or that soul-life that you are responsible for;  Demeter is the body, the earth, the physical and the mind attached to the body;  Hades is your shadow, that which you have suppressed and hidden in your dark underworld and the seven horses are the seven chakras of the physical body.  All of these are also represented in the collective and the cosmic;  so they are personal and transpersonal.

Kore, the maiden, is the life of the soul as created by the young and innocent;  Persephone is the soul life as created by Wisdom!  Wisdom is only gained through contemplation, reflection, suffering, sacrifice and dedicated inner soul work.  Through the time spent in the cave or the underworld, the ego is softened, cracked and eventually dissolved.  Only when you change the way that you look at the losses experienced as your passage and initiation into a fuller soul life and as a necessary journey to a higher consciousness, will Zeus come to your aid and assist you.

Loss is the initiation into nigredo.  Loss of expectations;  loss of a relationship;  loss of yourself and access to your inner world;  loss of purpose;  loss of joy; loss of employment and more.  The loss in the outer world is a reflection of the loss in the inner world.  

The realisation that Demeter made, and thus setting Persephone (her younger self) free was :  I am powerful, I am not weak.  I am a survivor, not a victim;  I am a wo/man, not a child.  I have the key within myself;  I am ENOUGH!

Nigredo is never a life-sentence;  only a stage.  The profound grief that one suffers has to be faced head on and there is a deep psychological and spiritual need in all human beings to connect with their own inner life;  to tell their stories;  to make sense of themselves .
Jung said the treasure lies in the darkness.  The gift of the spirit is found imbedded in the wound.  As my vision so clearly stated :  You have swallowed the poison, now go and find the cure.  And finding the cure is a journey that will last a lifetime.

There is a famous saying :  'Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water;  After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water'.